Did u know that s3x is basically an olympic sport?

If you thought the Olympics were a majestic and solemn exhibition of human achievement, I'm here to ruin that, because, hey, have you ever noticed they're a lot like sex? Not in actual practice, of course, although one day I'd love for it to be an official event. What I really mean is many key aspects of the games also hold true in the bedroom.

Here are some of the reasons why sex is pretty much an Olympic sport, or, at least, reasons why I think you deserve a medal for it anyway.

1. It's a team effort. As the old adage goes, teamwork makes the dream work ... whether you're dreaming of a medal or of getting naked with a hot person. Be it a game of beach volleyball or a particularly tricky reverse cowgirl, any job worth doing is worth doing together.

2. But you can also do it solo. Some of us don't need help, thank you very much. Like Michael Phelps in the men's 200-meter freestyle, we can ~breaststroke~ our way there all on our own.

3. People travel super far for it. Like, really far. Like will get on a plane and land in a warm country for the sole purpose of doing the thing, even if it might not work out.

4. Someone always comes first. But that doesn't mean the games are over! Seriously. Let's make sure the person coming second (or third if you're getting funky) gets their due. Sometimes, silver is just as good as gold

5. It sometimes requires intense training. Nobody gets anywhere without practice, so while your first time trying something may be a little bumpy and awkward, you have to get back on the horse. Sometimes literally, if we are talking about equestrian (also, can someone please tell me WTF dressage is?). Moving on.

6. Be careful because injuries are common. Who among us hasn't unexpectedly tumbled from the bed? Gotten a charley horse in our calves? Accidentally kneed our partners in the groin? Like any physical activity, sex can be a handful, and we've all got our fair share of battle wounds to prove it.

7. It can cause mysterious bruises. On the one hand, it might have been some forceful neck sucking. On the other, there's cupping.